IT’S THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS THAT WE BECOME

When we set intentions for self-improvement, we tend to look inward and go on the journey alone, gritting out the process of learning and reshaping our behaviors seemingly in a vacuum.  However, we need the help of others to explore our own potential. Our relationships with others are often a mirror for our relationship with ourselves. If you pay attention, this is where some of your greatest insights can emerge.  Who we surround ourselves with and how we invest in those relationships will also support or degrade our efforts to become our best.

THEMES FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIPS CAN PROVIDE FEEDBACK AS TO HOW YOU RELATE TO YOURSELF  

How others treat us is often a mirror of how we treat ourselves – our internal world.  If others don’t value you, take you seriously, trust and love you for who you are, there is an opportunity to explore if you are meeting yourself with the same degree of care and openness.  An attitude of curiosity and acceptance goes a long way through this self-reflection. Appraising yourself with self-critique, self-loathing, or self-blame can keep you stuck and is a road-block to effective change. There may be parts of yourself, that have served a purpose in the past, for example, as a coping mechanism for trauma, that may no longer be serving you now.  Honor that you have figured out how to survive – that’s a beautiful thing – and meet yourself with some grace that you are committed to being more whole as you move forward. If you speak harshly to yourself, take a moment to reflect and reframe your inner dialogue to something more kind and accepting.

Others can help bring out the best in you when we practice openness.  Hopefully, those around us support who we are and challenge us to stay the course in pursuit of our goals.

BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT WHO IS IN YOUR TRIBE

Surrounding ourselves with the “right” people reinforce how we think and act. Elite athletes do not reach the heights they do alone. They have a tribe of coaches, psychologists, nutritionists, close friends and confidants that continually provide support and feedback to help them calibrate on their progress.  If we want to grow personally, then the people we spend time with should talk and behave in ways that complement our strengths and align with our goals. In this way, there is a mutual feedback loop of learning, helping each other become better people. Additionally, the greater the levels of support we perceive, the less stress we tend to experience during challenging times.

Getting clear on who you are as a person, your strengths, and what’s possible for you is a starting point to developing a healthier relationship with yourself and others.  Having this reference point allows us to live more consistently aligned with what is healthy and serves our growth versus what does not. 

— Nicole Davis, Mindset coach and Olympian